0 paralyzing fear

the shadow man came today
i caught his black figure
out of the corner of my eye
fear took hold immediately
i quickly turned my gaze away
and shut my eyes tight
still i felt his outstretched arms
press firmly upon my body
pinning me down were i lay
i fought to breathe
i fought to relax my body
i fought to calm my nerves
i fought the need to fight
still he read my mind
like an open book
just the thought of moving
caused the pressure to intensify
pushing me further down
i did my best to quell the panic
repeated my mantra over and over
focusing on just moving my feet
just my feet
just my feet
slowly but surely
i kicked my way out of yet another
waking nightmare
only to be sucked back in
this time
to a figure-free
bout of sleep paralysis

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i don't meet the shadow man too often.  he is an oddity that pops up upon occasion when i have an episode.  his presence adds another element to an already taxing experience.  it no longer about just not being able to move; he brings with him the added effect of pressure--like someone or something is pinning you down.  as though being awake an unable to move wasn't bad enough.


if you haven't already met this sister poem to this, check out Waking Nightmare.
if you haven't already read my rambling on this topic, check out sleep paralysis.

4 provoked

forbid me to speak
go ahead
i dare you
forbid me to brandish my words
like a sword
come on
you can do it
just be prepared
to feel the wrath
of my silvery tongue
as it slashes through
another of your measly attempts
at classroom management
so go on
do it already
forbid me to speak

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okay, so my first thoughts with this weeks Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>brandish, forbid, manage(ment)] was the following line:  "she brandished her newly acquired assets like a weapon."  i mulled it around in my brain for a bit...had direction with two possible outcomes, but i just couldn't seem to get a good handle on it.  maybe later.  anyway, i ended up taking a completely different direction.  

0 Batch #5

Bursting with Pom Seeds
(image by rmp, that's me)

as before, there is really not much to report on the pom seed front.  i have two that fermented immediately into frothy delights.  the other two are linked together as potential lyrics (be grateful twitter doesn't allow for you input via microphone instead of keyboard). mostly i have been sending out tweetoetry--though i have one rambling to add to the mix.

anyway...while there are very few new additions, some of those from previous batches (today's leftovers) have matured into tasteful little bits.

so here goes...

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Pom Seeds Batch #5

• please help! my love has gone astray; he promised me here he would stay; so hurry I did, straight away; without delay, without delay (erupted into kiss anew)
• you put me on a shelf and stare at me/ hold me on a pedestal as though I were a queen (I hear this like a song with a biting sound.)
• I watch the ripples on the surface/ as I sink into nonexistence (erupted into plunge into nonexistence)
• but you don't listen to a word I say/ nor see the tears that stain my face (continuation of "you put me on a shelf...")

Ramblings (bold = new)

• pathetic really ~ the way anxiety grips my heart ~ as I step outside myself ~ reaching out ~ to those on the inside of the circle ~ I skirt (could technically be classified as a tweetoetry, but...)
• ~ why do I live like this? one pill...many pills...I need to find an answer (thoughts of a poem lingered in my head upon writing this, With Every Word... In Every Action...)
• I don't have any thoughts lingering in my head ~ Is that what peace feels like? 
• ~ her giggles are like candy ~ 
• anxiety's peace ~ tastes like profanity ~ on virgin lips (thoughts of calling this a poem in its own right still lingers)
• forgive my lack of social graces... (part of a recent ramblings post, social-less soul)

Leftovers

• Information overload
• I woke with rose colored glasses and the world was as only I could dream it to be
• we were never friends; not really; how could we be; when all we did; was dance around each other (blossomed in never really friends)
• my mom use to day; we're never lost; we're just misplaced
• i hate days like today; where i'm blindsided; punched in the chest; days when all i want to do is curl up into a little ball and disappear
• "you're growing."; am I? I don't think I'm growing; maybe just walking outside myself
• love is pain and sorrow; wrapped in disguise; it laughs at me; with its sweet intoxicating lies
• I woke this evening to a dream; and found myself the real me (i tried to expand this one, but i don't think it has fermented as much as it needs to) (finally matured into As Only I Could Dream)
• I see myself in black & white; brilliant colors surround me; poke at me; eager to caress me with their warmth; but they bounce off of me
• I will live forever like this; in shadows of who I long to be

Tweetoetry

#17 (tanka-ish)
~taste of revenge

can you taste
the tart flavor of my words
do they bite
my words strike your twisted soul
intent on paying you back


#18
~shimmering beneath

I caught a glimpse
beneath
as her mask slipped
why
does she hide
such shimmering beauty?


#19
~little girl

she steals my heart
with that devilish smile
backing away
beckoning me
to chase her


#20 (septolet; a 3WW post)
~ripe for the tasting

breezy kisses
tickle
her neck

she's ripe
for the picking
like a mellow
fruit


#21
~write me a poem~

touch me
soothe me
consume me
I want to taste your words
on my lips
bitter-sweet
meant just for me


#22
~play me a song~

strum me a beat
hard and fast
a riotous sound
meant to soothe my soul
pluck each chord
on my taunt nerves
unravel me


#23 (septolet)
~whispering taste

your whispering
touch
awakens me

I melt
into the delicious flavor
of your kiss


#24
~dance with me

words dance across my tongue
drawing you in
with the slow seductive curve of my lips
as they sway* to the rhythm of my heart

(*altered original word of dance to avoid excess)


#25 (septolet)
~tear ducts

dry eyes
burn
with unshed tears

revolting tears
stage a coup
against
raging emotions


#26
~no longer

lost
in a world
I did no ask for
how do I find my way back
back into nonexistence
where I can be free
to at last
live


#27 (haiku)
~blossoming

shades of white--pink hues
spring buds on long dormant limbs
opening my soul


#28 (haiku)
~raining petals

pink teardrops descend
pooling beneath weeping trees
nourishing new life


#29 (tanka)
~apart

I wish that I knew
how to be on the inside
a part of the world
I'm always on the outskirts
a hell of my own making


#30(senryu)
~on the inside

her beauty faded
--as too often is the case--
when her looks began to shine


#31
~filled to the brim

I write
to save my soul
for where words
might otherwise drown me
I break through the leves
so they may pour free


#32 (inspired by OSP Friday Poetically)
~the sound of touch

silence
absolute utter silence
falls on deaf ears
but as bare toes curl
into loose earth
a midnight serenade
bursts to life


#33 (septolet; inspired by 3WW)
~social jitters

graced
with social phobia
jitters spread

sanity
walks a thin line
around
my soul


#34
~soul to bare

I strip myself bare
waiting for the sweet tender touch
of peace
to awaken me

8 designing rhyming

why would i wish to play with rhyme?
thinking this way takes too much time.
linking up lines; making designs; (hrr)
why really, it should be a crime!

ignore vowels with consonance;
employ vowels with assonance;
enjoy each kind? deploy entwined? (hrr)
ignore my growing dissonance?

so many different kinds seems wrong.
perfect, slant, rich... the list is long
connect the ends? effect the heads? (hrr)
so many ways to build rhymes strong.

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i was so content to stop at the first stanza...but figured the more i toyed the more solid my use might seem.  i really should learn to stick with my first instincts.  this insane attempt at playing with different types of rhymes and position and what not was inspired by One Stop Poetry's Form Monday.  i now know way more about rhymes than i'm sure i care to...  i wonder how many different types i managed to employ....  the (hrr) is my pathetic attempt at expressing an exasperation...it throws off my syllable count a bit, but i couldn't help but add it in. 

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Check Out Alex's Creative Corner!  Just don't tell her I sent you!

i met a unique and interesting young talent!  she can be a bit scatterbrained at times, but it lends well to her writing. 

after complaining (that's putting it mildly) that she didn't post enough, she has been inundating her blog with post after post.  to reciprocate her kindness (i've been waiting eagerly to see how her SpellCaster's saga ends and to learn more about living an awesome life and highlighters), i promoting her blog as a wild collection of...i'm not sure i have the right words to describe it, so if you get a chance check out Alex's Creative Corner.  Just don't tell her i sent you!

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