My newest adventure is underway. It has lead me to take up residency in a new blog,
Like the Feathers of an Arrow (affectionately known as LFA).

...don't open...don't throw away... is not disappearing completely (not yet),
but postings here will be limited.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

0 wish to be seen

I enjoyed him
thoroughly and completely
he saw me for who I was
helped me to see me for who I was
his words forced me to face myself
expose the fears that hold me back
with him I was alive and whole
and have give anything if he were real

0 Crux

Tears spilled like crazy
streaking my cheeks
converging at my lips
the taste salty on my tongue

Tears spilled like crazy
from fear and anxiety
that binds me
a helpless soul of nothing

Tears spilled like crazy
my thoughts turn to the future
how will I survive
I can only fake so much

Tears spilled like crazy
how do I get past the insanity
it can not be explained
and so I am alone

Tears spilled like crazy
with the knowledge
that I will always be alone
bound by this pathetic phobia

Friday, June 18, 2010

0 Encounter #52...continued...

[She held out her hand to him.  The right corner of her mouth twitched into a half smile.  He lifted his hand toward her, but stop an inch away from touching it and withdrew his hand.  He looked up at her; his brows drew in.]

Him:  I'm sorry.  This all just feels weird. 

[She looked at him without saying a word.]

Him:  Maybe we could just talk for a little bit.

[She rested her hand back on her lap, a small sigh escaping her as she did.  Then a inaudible laugh escaped her.  She shook her head and smiled, one that actually reached her eyes.]

Her:  We can talk.  But I warn you it has been a while since I had a normal conversation with someone.  I might be a bit rusty at the whole small talk stuff.
Him:  It's like riding a bike, it comes back to you pretty easily.  How about I start?

[She nodded.]

Him:  How long have you been doing this?
Her:  Wow.  I think it has been almost two years.
Him:  How many guys have you do it with?  Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that.

[She smiled.]

Her:  It's all good.  Um...you would make 52, so 51.
Him:  51, exactly?

[She nodded.]

Him:  Any you know the exact number off the top of your head because...
Her:  Well, each of the sessions, as I believe you were told is recorded.  After each session, I transcribe what took place.  Before I 'do it' with a new person, I file all of the previous sessions and begin a new dossier.  Yesterday I started folder number 52.
Him:  What's in my dossier so far?
Her:  Your application, which includes your family history and your medical history. 
Him:  So you already know more than any of first date might.
Her:  Yes and no.  I don't really like to read all of that information up front.  I prefer to...
Him:  To...what?