0 frosted trees

She stared out the window.  A blanket of white covered the ground and frosted the trees.  She loved the way the world looked after a snowfall.  Everything seemed so pure, untouched, and peaceful.  Somehow a small bit of peace nudged its way into her.  Turmoil had been her best friend for ages now; her whole life really.  Everyday was a struggle to wake up, to go out, to smile or to laugh.  And yet sitting staring at the newly fallen snow brought a sort of calm to her.  These moments were rare and she treasured them.  They provided a moment of reprieve where she could escape into a quite place and feel some semblance of hope.  She tried desperately to stay caught up in the moment and not let the world that she lived in reek havoc on her, but it was an impossible feat.  As the tears fell from her eyes she couldn't help but wonder if she would ever truly find the peace she deserved.

0 Staring Into Me

eyes follow me at every turn
boring into me from every direction
real or not I cannot say
but I can feel them all around
how do I tune them out
how do I make them leave me be

0 Affirmation

An intense need has risen to the surface
a contradiction to who I am and my internal fears
the desire has taken hold of me
and I am at a lose to understand it fully
Compliments have been the bane of my existence
inevitably I find myself dwelling on the lie behind them
now I am consumed by a need for validation
my world seems to be falling in on me
emptiness festers within me
a need to feel whole for the first time overwhelms me
Why I look to others I cannot say
I should be looking within me
but so long I have spent trying to be whole
scared of what others might have to say
always hearing the opposite in their words
now suddenly I need them
to feel as though there is worth to my existence