4 CIHTD?: The Trouble Is

Title:  All About the Love
Artist:  Sister Hazel
Album:  20 in 10:  Digital Collection
Genre:  Rock

The Trouble Is

The puzzle lays scattered about the table;
brilliant shades of pink collecting dust
wait patiently for fingers to turn them over
and over and over and over searching for
the perfect fit.  Piece after piece yields nothing.

The candle light flickers with only my shadow;
an all consuming darkness shapes my form--
perpetually moving--lost in a sea of golden hues
threatening to swallow me whole with just the slightest
ill placed breath.  Sigh after sigh, my silhouette distorts.

The world just laughs knowing there's no perfect fit.
The sun refuses to shine knowing it too will cast
a solo shadow across the emptiness of my spirit.
And so here I sit waiting and waiting for enough.

Notes:  I first thought to name the poem Enough; even had it set before the first words spilled.  I hit the second to last line and I just couldn't make the connection.  So I glanced back at the song and the second line sparked the a new title.  The problem of course was that I still felt there needed to be something more to the poem.  And so the last line sprung up until "waiting and waiting."  Still I felt like I need to say what was being waited on, which is where enough crept back in.  I'm not sure about it.  I hear its meaning and understand its intent (particularly as it relates to the song), but I'm not certain it makes sense on its own or outside of my head.  Of course that won't stop me from employing it nonetheless.

14 Last Call: Full House--Multiples Increase with IVF

two of a kind = a vacant house
a pair -- no more,
but still
enough
to ante up.
After the first flop
concern stirs within
as eyes too focused on the turn
almost miss
the tiny embryos of hope
planted there
forcing an all-in praying that the river
unearths a winning hand --
three of a kind.

---

Doubling "down" again this week with Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>focused, pair, vacant] and dVerse Poets Pub ~ OpenLinkNight.

2 the past... the future... another year down...

Today ...don't open...don't throw away... celebrates its three year anniversary.  As with most things, anniversaries are a good time to look back at the year, reflect and celebrate what has happened--both good and bad.  It is also a good time to think about the future and what wonders it might hold.  I also find it fun to include some facts (quantitative,  because numbers are my thing in the real world).  But before I inundate you with numbers and percents, I'd like to reflect a bit.

Just as year two ended on a rocky note, this year started off on one.  The first half of the year existed with many weeks of non-existence; I posted a total of 12 times from January 10th to June 30th.  My rules continue(d) to remain inactive and honestly I did little to no writing elsewhere.  It took me quite some time to rediscover myself here (over a year if we start from when I went into hiding during year two).  Finally, I decided I needed to reengage myself, but I knew activating my old rules would not do the trick.  So, on July 1st, I started my themes:  Sunday's - Time Capsule, Monday's - Q Series (occasional), Tuesdays/Wednesdays - Last Call, and Fridays - Can I Have This Dance?  [song inspired posts].  They definitely gave me purpose and forced my hand (or fingers) to keyboard).  I wasn't sure I'd be able to hit 100 posts considering the start of the year, but in the end I made it to 118.

Anyway...let's check out some stats before I reflect on the future...

Posts...

*This number does not equal the number of poems.

Followers...
My followers base as increased from the original 3 to 23 to the current number 28.  Over the course of the past three years, several have disappeared, so the increase does not equal the number of new followers.  I mention my numbers here, mainly because I have done so in the past.  It is important to realize that while some choose to click the follow button, other may choose to follow using the RSS feed (which is how I follow most people).  So I'd like to pretend that my followers base is more like 1,000--okay if I'm realistic it is probably more like 50.

Most Commented on Post...
I honestly did not think the most comment on post for this year would also knock out the one from year two, but low and behold just last week Loony for Lunes (22) surpassed silent screams (20).

Most Viewed...
To be honest, I have a feeling that web crawlers finally managed to knock the two year running most viewed post, Methods to Soothe Raging Emotions.  The post has actually been downgraded to #9 with 98 views.  Dancing Down a Storm:  Blackout Poetry holds the #1 spot with 164 views.

Form Poetry...

So where is ...don't open...don't throw away... heading?

I have on multiple occasions thought about shutting down.  Each time I have done so, I have been in a bad place with my "Socio-neti-phobia."  So I continued even with my bad (almost non-existent) spell to post.  The past month or so I have begun (while my head is on straight and relatively rational) to think that this blog may have run its course.  One of the things that has always lingered at the edge of sanity was that while this is a public blog, I have not shared its existence with any "real-world" people--no family...no friends....  Every time I think to, my ramblings and even some of my poems give me pause (too many crazy irrational thoughts running 'round).  And so I've been thinking that I might need to reinvent my online self so that I can feel more comfortable sharing.

So, maybe I'll stick around, maybe I won't, but I intend to take the rest of this month to think hard on shutting down and reinventing.

2 Time Capsule: Dr. Jekyll's Syndrome

Title:  Dr. Jekyll's Syndrome
Date:  between 04/07/92 and 01/28/93
Setting:  Junior year of high school
Form:  Free verse

A man calls out,
Not to his wife or siblings,
Not to his mother nor any loved one. 

A man calls out,
Not to God or the angels,
Not to the heavens or the sky. 

A man calls out,
Not to the devil or hell,
Not to fire nor blood. 

A man calls out,
Not to anything visible,
But to his mind—
That continues to bind him;
to a personality not his own,
to a soul he does not want. 

A man calls out,
‘Free me from this unholy bond.’
Then sets himself aflame,
In a monstrous rage.

Notes:  In my first Time Capsule post, I made mention of this particular poem. As part of a culminating activity during a unit on poetry in English class, each member of the class was asked to share one of their poems on a blank sheet of white paper. We then all sat around in a circle, passed the poems around, and comment on them. As I mentioned during my first Time Capsule post, I had passed two poems around. This is the second one (even though it had been written the year before and not during the lesson).

Artifact I: The results of sending my poem around the circle of classmates.