6 Plotting and Planning

The proximity of the voices rendered him immobile. They weren’t supposed to be there. He had planned things out so carefully, spent hours watching the house and days trailing their every move. He had even gone so far as to insinuate himself into their life to eliminate surprise just like this one. They spoke now in harsh whispers as though they thought the walls had ears—if only they really knew. The shuffling of their feet moving closer to his hiding spot caused the hairs on his arms and neck to stand on end. He did his best to quiet his breathing fearing the slightest intake of breath might give him away. He had been so focused on staying unnoticed he almost missed the tenor of the conversation. While he had come here to rob and pilfer, their words were a gem he could live off of for years. A smile pierced his lips as he pulled out his phone and began recording the discussion. Dollar signs flashed before his eyes as they spoke of retribution in the form of murder. When they finally left, he stepped out of his hiding spot and looked around contemplating leaving while the coast was clear. With a shrug he thought to himself, why not, and began to forage for valuables.

---

i decided once again to steer away from poetry for this week's Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>immobile, proximity, retribution].  i must admit, while i do it infrequently, i enjoy flexing my non-poetic muscles.

6 Irrational Illusions

irrational illusions.egg on Aviary.

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Irrational Illusions

social endeavors
breed paranoid delusions
in whispers and taunts
unheard words that brush the neck
tickles which incite
involuntary cringing
where shoulders rise up
a manner of protection
from something not there
surroundings push in
like walls closing all around
stealing breath from lungs
while tears push to the surface
where clenched teeth push back
striving to maintain control
a steel composure
to protect from eyes not there
now the fight expands
to new social arenas
where fingertips touch the world
in fresh mediums:
chats, blogs, tweets, podcasts, emails…
an unending list
ripe for paranoid fancy
steeped in social angst
no longer felt in whispers
nor in “watching” eyes
but rather in the silence
a painful echo
driving irrational thoughts
emails of boycotts
meant to explain still voices
tweets unretweeted
reinforce perceived lacking
as the world shrinks in
the pressure expands tenfold
crushing from the inside out

---

i wasn't sure when i started this that it would end where i had intended it to start...i thought it would simply follow a parallel line of thought and i'd have to come back to the original thought in another piece. but it found its way back...strange really how things find there way. although technically i did not make way into the intended conclusion...just to the beginning...which i'm sure makes no sense to anyone but me since only i know the original intent.


anyway...this is my offerings for this weeks OpenLinkNight over at the dVerse~Poets Pub, an extraordinary place were an eclectic group of individuals come together to share and celebrate poetry.

0 i should be stronger than superman by now...

She sat at the desk staring off into space. It was happening again. Something in her life had gone awry and it ate at her. She knew she had to talk to the person who’d set this roadblock. She had to make peace with it, if not fix it.

Unfortunately, there were things in life, which she could not deal with emotionally well. She clenched her teeth and widened her eyes to keep the tears at bay. The feeling that swelled inside her chest pushed and pulled at her muscles.

It’s not fair, she thought, normal people don’t feel like this. They don’t get so worked up. They don’t dread the idea of confrontation. It’s just not fair that she has to deal with this turmoil, this anxiety that surfaces whenever things seem to go uncontrollably wrong, to no fault of her own.

Air forced its way out of her mouth trying to expel the tension in her chest and shoulders. She rubbed her brow with her right hand and bit her lip contemplating the implications of how the future would be if she let it lie. What she foresaw was unhappiness and it hurt.

The will to move forward, to continue with daily activities, vanished. This war going on inside her was debilitating. The collision of the unwelcome future and the desire to mend it battled for control of her emotions.

Expelling another fit of air, she pushed all thoughts from her mind. There was no place for this war right now, maybe not ever. It was time to move forward. She needed to except that in life there were things beyond one’s control, times when one must learn to deal with being unhappy. A small mocking smile pierced her lips as her mind absorbed the idea, what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.

3 intoxicating ride

She was tired of sitting back and watching, tired of being told what to do and when to speak, and tired of not being allowed to stretch her muscles, both physically and mentally. It seemed harsh and cruel that she was forced to suppress her natural instincts--all because she was born into this passive role. She itched to be free. The idea of controlling her own destiny was intoxicating, but still she understood the demands her title held. So try as she might, she could not bring herself to openly defy the expectations laid at her feet. Truthfully, there was only one pleasure she ever indulged in. When she felt her world begin to suffocate her, she steal herself away to the stables. Under cover of a night, draped in a cloak, she slips in amongst the horses until she found her mare. The first brush of her hand across the beautiful coat always brought a smile to her lips. There was an unspoken bond between the two. With one swift movement she’d find herself astride the majestic creature and they’d ride out towards the open fields. Then once the ground opened up in front of them, they would break into a full run. At that moment, when her hood flew off and the wind caught her hair so it billowed behind her like a flag, she felt free.

---

i find myself with this week's Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>flag, might, passive] once again exploring prose--short and brief, but still pushing myself outside of the poetic thoughts i seem to get sucked into.

2 Escape Despair

escape despair.egg on Aviary.

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Escape Despair

whisps escape her tightly spun updo
frantically whispering to you;
begging to unfurl like a loose stitch.
how can you resist as fingers itch
longing to unravel more than hair?

thoughts escape from deep within, as you
frantically push aside this new
feeling ravishing you from inside;
for there is no way you can abide
marring this friendship beyond repair.

still, should you deny a gift so precious and rare
just to save yourself from possible despair?

---

i had this idea in my head awhile back with the first stanza though not quite as it currently stands. it lingered with me...and so i've revisited it. i'm not sure if i like the way it turned out, but i'll let it stand for now.


anyway...this is my weekly offering for OpenLinkNight over at the dVerse~Poets Pub. if you haven't already been there to check out the talent individuals who walk through the pubs doors you may want to take a minute and see what they bring to the mic.

note:  please forgive my recording.  i tried it several times, but it didn't really feel right...

0 dreams and wishes

last night as i lay in bed i found myself once again pondering the idea of happiness.  [i just typed 'happy' into the search area for my posts and found 28 results.]  anyway, i wrote a post awhile back where i tried to wrapped my mind around "happiness is a mood not a destination."  i'm not sure if i had heard that or saw it or if it too had been part of some late night ponderings that inevitably found its way here.  regardless it skirted my thoughts last night...

there is something about this season that feels like a time of dreams and wishes...a time were anything is possible.  [truth be told, i think i just watch too many Lifetime and Hallmark movies.]  so last night my brain got to thinking about being happy.  [i'll abbreviate the discussion i had in my head...mainly 'cause it can be quite hard to follow may train of thought as i jump from idea to idea, which i'm sure those of who actually read my ramblings probably already know.]  in short happiness is a state of being that fluxuates from happy to sad...i mean can you really have one without the other.  it was about at that moment, with the fluxuation concept, that i realized what my real problem is.  it's not being happy so much as being balanced...i don't fluxuate. 

so what do i wish for...dream of...
more importantly how do i obtain it...how long do i wait for it to find me...when will stop dreaming and wishing and start being...

as far as i'm concerned, that way too many questions. 

8 CRAZE

CRAZE

frenzy

free-for-all

jettisoned cargo

flushes them out in droves

to behave like wild creatures

"mob mentality at it's best."

---

it's been awhile since i last wrote a clarity pyramid...but seeing as how this is the last Wednesday of the month and i have finally found my way back to 3WW, how could i not write one?  took me a bit to bring it all together, but i do seem to find that is often the case with this form.

this past weekend, there was a marathon of Firefly on tv.  while i have never really watched the single season 'space cowboy' series, my brother roped me into a couple of episodes.  somehow this weeks Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>behave, jettison(ed), mob] was inspired by one of the episodes.

i concede...once again I hoped to try for two in one day...but it seems it wasn't in me. so here is my meager offerings for this week's OpenLinkNight. tonight I go voiceless leaving this little scribbling scrawled on a coaster over at the dVerse~Poets Pub.