Tuesday, December 6, 2011
2 Escape Despair
Escape Despair
whisps escape her tightly spun updo
frantically whispering to you;
begging to unfurl like a loose stitch.
how can you resist as fingers itch
longing to unravel more than hair?
thoughts escape from deep within, as you
frantically push aside this new
feeling ravishing you from inside;
for there is no way you can abide
marring this friendship beyond repair.
still, should you deny a gift so precious and rare
just to save yourself from possible despair?
i had this idea in my head awhile back with the first stanza though not quite as it currently stands. it lingered with me...and so i've revisited it. i'm not sure if i like the way it turned out, but i'll let it stand for now.
anyway...this is my weekly offering for OpenLinkNight over at the dVerse~Poets Pub. if you haven't already been there to check out the talent individuals who walk through the pubs doors you may want to take a minute and see what they bring to the mic.
note: please forgive my recording. i tried it several times, but it didn't really feel right...
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i dunno...there seem to be certain lines that when friendships cross definitely cause them to unravel...
ReplyDeleteI like your first stanza! I like how it speaks in metaphor, the conjunction of twirled-up hair and tight stitches, the matching soundes of wisp and whisper, and especially how all the consonants pushing up against one another, almost tongue-twistingly, match up with the feeling of longing to unfurl. I would like to see this lovely metaphor carried on even further.
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