10 The Sweet Taste of Silence

Sweet Sweet Silence.egg on Aviary.

---

Sweet Sweet Silence

The taste of silence was never so sweet,
as the touch of your lips pressed against mine,
stealing away my words with breathless sighs.
Strangely words still pour forth with your retreat.

We both see the flaw in your plan's design;
Your foolish hope that shock will still my voice,
as the touch of your lips press against mine.

Stealing my words with breathless sighs...
but speechless? You leave me with but one choice;
knowing you'll employ my mouth otherwise.

Naturally words still pour forth with your retreat;
smiling with you at your plan's flawed design,
daring you -- engage my mouth otherwise.
The taste of silence was never so sweet.

---

Sweet Silence
(tweet by rmpWritings, that's me)

"the taste of silence was never so sweet" has been festering in my head ever since it made its first appearance via twitter.  it eventually gave birth to two poems, Kiss Me Senseless and Sweet Kiss (neither of which actually used the line).  with each poem, i promised it would eventually find its own voice in a poem.  today it does just that.  


this poem is another NAFF (not-a-form form), which i have been toying with for a bit now.  this makes poem number five.  


this is my contribution for tonight's OpenLinkNight over at dVerse~Poets Pub where a vast offering of talent writers come to share their love of poetry.  


Note:  i had issues recording...so forgive me if it sounds weird(er than usual).    

3 WIth Words

it feels like it has been forever since i last toyed with a new form of poetry. dVerse~Poets Pub FormForAll presented an article by John Alwyine-Mosely on the Ghazal.  this is not the first time i've seen the form (my exploration of Shadow Poetry has brought about quite an array of form poetry, but never had i felt the urge to try a ghazal), but such an in depth description of the form has me feeling the itch to see how badly i can mess up poetic form. hopefully i didn't fail it too badly. so without further ado...

---

With Words

I get lost so easily in words;
transported by the perfect words.

How profound can one appear to sound,
when they command the spoken word?

When escape is more than I can hope;
I loose myself in written words.

Should I hold my tongue or speak aloud,
unhindered by forbidden words.

Silence maybe just as strong a sound
as fiercely thought-provoking words.

Should I find that all else fails to hold,
I'll always have the strength of words.

---

I realize that I did not include my name (in some form) within the last couplet. I could rewrite the lines...

"Should I find remembrance fails to hold,
I'll always have my prescoius words."

...but I'm not really sure "remembrance" counts even though it captures the meaning of my name. so what I need to decide is whether it works better as is or with the altered lines. I'll have to think on it.

7 Across Your Skin

Across Your Skin.egg on Aviary.

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Across Your Skin

I write in short hand
permanent marker
across your skin
A crib sheet
visible only to my touch
tidbits and facts
of you
of us
of me with you

My instincts are off
beckoning me to run
for happiness fades
slipping through my fingers
while darkness stalks
pulling at my core
Pushing you away
makes the most sense
to my irrational brain

I brush my fingers
like reading Braille
across your skin
reliving
reminding
rediscovering
you
us
me with you

My mind gets lost
savoring possibilities
as fears fade
melting away from me
and light blooms
smiling inside of me
Keeping you close
goes against my instincts
So I brand
you
us
me with you
across your skin

---

i thought this time around i might try for something a little less depressing/dark/down.  i think i might have hit the mark.  not really an easy task given my mood of the past few months.  but i think it's good to try to break away from myself once in awhile. 

not really sure about the flow from the first stanza to the second; they seem a bit disjointed, but maybe it's just me.  the recordings a little different this time; i tried for softer (in comparison to the previous recordings), but not really sure i hit the mark on that.  anyway...

this is my contribution for tonight's OpenLinkNight over at dVerse~Poets Pub where a vast offering of talent writers come to share their love of poetry.  (i thought maybe i might break the hundreds this time, but it appears to enter the double digits posting on Tuesday is the only way...maybe next week.)

0 i feel stupid...

every once and awhile, i wonder how effective my education was. i vaguely remember getting basic skills in mathematics when i was younger (and i still have issues with basic math...not too big of a deal when you consider i can solve a system of equations in three variables or find the roots to a polynomial expression where all but two roots are rational). where am i going with this...well, i have absolutely no memory of every receiving basic skills (what they tend to call 'instructional support' now a days) and if i'm being completely honest, my reading comprehension skills leave much to be desired. to truly comprehend something, i have to read word for word (most people read in chucks) and if i'm lucky i only have to read it two or three times the gist of what's being said. again, where am i going with this you might wonder...

i (if you haven't noticed) enjoy writing poetry. the trouble comes with the fact that i also enjoy reading it. so for someone who has issues reading and understanding things written in complete sentences, image what it is like when they're only fragments of thoughts strewn together to express a concept or idea. i find myself more times than not reading someone else's work and totally confused. i'll read it twice or thrice; i'll read through the comments left to see if i can glean something from the words of others; if i'm lucky those tactics will be enough. but sometimes i am left feeling as the title of this post states, 'stupid'. one might think not understanding a poem is no big deal...i mean really how many people in out there have an appreciation for poetry the way they enjoy non-fiction or mysteries or romances or science-fiction?

well, (1) I don't like feeling stupid, (2) i don't like feeling stupid about something i enjoy, and (3) how am i supposed to grow and learn as a poet if i have this block. Also (i suppose this could be called 4) i ready feel the pressures of social anxiety through my online endevours and i do my best (as i also do in the real world) to fight this by visiting other's blogs and leaving comments, but this problem of mind only works to heighten my anxiety--making me want to crawl back into my little hiding spot and disappear forever.

i think that's enough insight into my psyche for now...

6 Treading Tears

Treading Tears.egg on Aviary.

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Treading Tears

This salty ocean threatens to consume
where ripples of emotions build to crests
untamed and wild at times, then soft and mild.
I find myself forever treading waves
forever lost within this tempest's snare.
I long for your embrace to hold me safe
to soothe the raging waters deep within
to quiet suffocating thoughts and fears.

I long for you as always, but today
as into burning flames I stare with tears,
Poseidon's stormy wrath is fierce and strong.
The lights do flicker with another year
of celebration passing by once more.
Where previously both our names did ring,
I stand alone my lips remaining still.

Your hug is all I wish for with this breath
a hopeless wish, but still I cling to it,
my life vest filled with fading memories.
This salty ocean threatens to consume
as I do try to tread these silent tears.

---

my intent was blank verse (partially because i wasn't in the mood for rhyming, but) mainly i figured having to conform to a structure would help me from living the title of this poem. i'm filling a little iffy on the blank verse (particularly with 'life vest'), but i've decided not to over-'stress' myself this time with trying for perfection. the form served its purpose for me well enough.


inspiration for this piece came in part from dVerse~Poets Pub Poetics--The Watering Hole (hosted by Sheila Moore), which i unfortunately missed. and in part by this evening's impending song, which i had thought to end this poem with (a tricky one to write in iambic pentameter--had to break words over multiple lines), but its inclusion would defeat the purpose of choosing to use a form for this poem.


this is my contribution for tonight's OpenLinkNight over at dVerse~Poets Pub where a vast offering of talent writers come to share their love of poetry.

0 back...but not running at 100%

i have not quite been myself since returning from my self-imposed exile from my online self.  i most definitely have abandoned the blog rules is set for ...don't open...don't throw away...  as a means to keep myself in check.  they were meant to be a form of motivation and i think in the beginning they worked well.  even at the one year mark, they were holding strong.  but they don't seem to provide the same push as they once did. 

maybe it's not them...in fact, it is probably not them, but me.  i thought maybe to blame summer and the lack of routine that it brings about, but that would be a farce.  (i really just wanted to use the word farce...i mean when am i ever really going to use the word farce.  it is an interesting word...not one i hear that often.)  i could use writer's block as an excuse, but really i don't feel blocked...just uninspired and uncaring.

i'm scared to abandon my rules completely.  outside of the month of June, i've managed to maintain a descent number of posts even if i break the 'rules' in the process.  it's just if i completely forgo the 'rules' i fear ...don't open...don't throw away... will soon see its final days.

my purpose for starting this blog has not changed.  my need to keep this part of myself alive is essential.  i just wish i could figure out a way to do that while removing the pressure and anxiety that has erupted when i truly opened myself up to the blogging world just under a year ago.  maybe i should have kept ...don't open...don't throw away... under the radar.  but there is definitely something to be said for knowing that there are people out there who for some crazy reason think you have something worth reading. 

i don't know.  i guess only time will tell.  for now, i will forgive my disregard of the 'rules'.  and revisit things when September rolls around and summer comes to an end. 

6 Flawed Love

Flawed Love.egg on Aviary.

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Flawed Love

I thought you could love me for who I am
and so I hid her from your sight.

if I could explain the logic to this,
I'd draw you a beautiful diagram
outlining my perfectly flawed thoughts
for I know they're flawed
and
       irrational
and
       me
these perfectly flawed thoughts are who I am;
and so even if I could explain
I wouldn't
for I've hidden her from you.

(wow talk about some crazy logic)

but it doesn't really matter
you see
the problem is I didn't take into account
I would want
                     you to love me
                                             for who I am
and now I'm lost
uncertain how to unearth her
uncertain
              whether you can still love me for who I am
uncertain
              of me and whether I'm still worth loving

is it wrong that I hope you'll hear this plea
and tell me you knew me all along
is it wrong that I hope I'm a horrible liar
and you'll tell me you have loved me all along
that you were just waiting for me
to be okay
                  with me

I thought you could love me for who I am
and so I hid her from your sight
not realizing it wasn't so much about you
as it was about the fact that
I thought I
                 could never love me
                                                 for who I am

I'm still working on that,
loving me for who I am.
I'm just hoping that
maybe we could work on it
                                           together.

---

i am currently working on desensitizing myself to my own voice...and some how i thought dVerse ~ Poets Pub might be the best outlet with their OpenLinkNight.  today marks week two.  they opened their doors last week and i entered with a bit of trepidation...but the atmosphere is quite welcoming and fun...with a lot of amazing poets stepping up to the stage.  if you get a chance stop in and take in some wonderful poetry.