Wednesday, August 3, 2011
6 Treading Tears
Treading Tears
This salty ocean threatens to consume
where ripples of emotions build to crests
untamed and wild at times, then soft and mild.
I find myself forever treading waves
forever lost within this tempest's snare.
I long for your embrace to hold me safe
to soothe the raging waters deep within
to quiet suffocating thoughts and fears.
I long for you as always, but today
as into burning flames I stare with tears,
Poseidon's stormy wrath is fierce and strong.
The lights do flicker with another year
of celebration passing by once more.
Where previously both our names did ring,
I stand alone my lips remaining still.
Your hug is all I wish for with this breath
a hopeless wish, but still I cling to it,
my life vest filled with fading memories.
This salty ocean threatens to consume
as I do try to tread these silent tears.
my intent was blank verse (partially because i wasn't in the mood for rhyming, but) mainly i figured having to conform to a structure would help me from living the title of this poem. i'm filling a little iffy on the blank verse (particularly with 'life vest'), but i've decided not to over-'stress' myself this time with trying for perfection. the form served its purpose for me well enough.
inspiration for this piece came in part from dVerse~Poets Pub Poetics--The Watering Hole (hosted by Sheila Moore), which i unfortunately missed. and in part by this evening's impending song, which i had thought to end this poem with (a tricky one to write in iambic pentameter--had to break words over multiple lines), but its inclusion would defeat the purpose of choosing to use a form for this poem.
this is my contribution for tonight's OpenLinkNight over at dVerse~Poets Pub where a vast offering of talent writers come to share their love of poetry.
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Your blank verse I think is very successful as such, though I am not the best person to scan a meter perfectly, especially iambic pentameter, which does not flow very naturally for me. But I notice I read two entire stanzas thinking it was rhymed then realizing it was just very well metered, to give a strong feeling of structure. I liked the opening lines especially, though I think you may mean where? Enjoyed it and glad you linked in.
ReplyDeleteemotive write...i feel the longing...just for a hug...yeah i like the beat within this...treading tears is quite the image as well..
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, and I enjoyed listening to you read it. It made my eyes watery :)
ReplyDeleteI can relate to treading water! I hope you get that hug, and hopefully on nice dry land where all is well.
ReplyDeletethis is so sad and heart tugging...
ReplyDeletei like these lines:
"The lights do flicker with another year
of celebration passing by once more.
Where previously both our names did ring,
I stand alone my lips remaining still."
thanks for sharing and linking ~
This is beautifully composed, treading tears evokes such a broad amount of emotions. I was touched by the read ~ Rose
ReplyDelete