The sound of metal grinding, vibrating, crackling, and twisting slowly began to break through her trance. The loud obnoxious noise was almost deafening. Finally she broke stare with the two thick black lines that appeared to have bled from the pavement and turned toward the sound. She found herself moving. The pull of the sound was intense. As she approached the large blue metal object that was bent and twisted into something that no longer resembling the car it once was, she tried to peer into the vehicle. The empty car seat in the pang brought on a pang of fear and terror, but obnoxious noise of the large metal wrench that was prying open the driver's door yelled for her attention. She looked back and watched as the firemen finally peeled open the door. Stepping forward, she looked inside at the driver. Blood trickled from a gash across the driver's brow down into her eyes. Instinctively, without thought for herself or those around her, she reached in to wipe the blood away. The moment her fingers touch the warm damp surface, the world around her erupted to life--full blown and loud. At that moment, the firemen gave a sigh of relief as the driver for the first time opened her eyes. Suddenly the world came back into view and she found herself gazing past the fireman toward the two black parallel lines that marred the pavement from the driver's seat of her car.
it feels like an eternity since i last wrote a story (as opposed to a poem)...a month and one day to be precise, but 3 months and 9 days since last i wrote one for Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>damp, incensed, skid]. it feels kind of nice to be exercising those brain muscles once again.
oh great story.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a fantastic way to come back to story writing..it felt very complete and well crafted..you could feel her utter separation and then the thud of coming back to reality..Jae
ReplyDeleteYou got me! The trance felt very real. Nice story.
ReplyDeleteEnthralling! I got a glimmer of a suspicion about two-thirds way through, and the end still surprised me.
ReplyDeleteWow. Lovely twist sort of ending, perfect imagery
ReplyDeleteI like the way you have concentrated her shock on the skid marks. And I particularly like 'the two thick black lines that appeared to have bled from the pavement ' Good foreshadowing.
ReplyDeleteI was totally taken in. Fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteMy submissions are Nightmares and Jealousy