I'm tired of living these lies,
but breaking free's too hard a task
and help is more than I can ask.
my illness weakens me with "whys"
and fears so strong. yet still I long
to see beneath my sad disguise.
it's time to rip away my mask.
I'm tired of living these lies!
i feel in order to give a new form (new to me--not necessarily new) a real chance, it needs to be explored/attempted at least three times. i can't say why exactly three, but i think it provides me with a better feel for how the form works and how well if fits me. that's not to say that every new form i have explored i've tried at least three times, but i have not made any judgments on the form and its potential for joining my arsenal. anyway...
...after being introduced to the octain yesterday at One Stop Poetry's Form Monday, i thought i'd give it another go. i was a bit more awake for the writing of this one...that doesn't mean this one will be any better than the last, but one can hope...
the above octain is being shared via One Stop Poetry's One Shot Wednesday.
side note #1: the last three lines came to me last night (in the reverse order), but i felt their potential then for turning (ha...get it...turning...) into an octain.
side note #2: i really think i need to stop writing about masks...
Extremely relate-able!
ReplyDeletei really like the second stanza and it opens it up well...your anchor line is very nice as well...
ReplyDeleteThis can relate to all in some way
ReplyDeleteAt some point in everyones day
With the new form you use
Seems you can't lose
As it was done really well
And that I will tell
I really liked this octain. I haven't read the other one yet but this one flowed so smoothly. nice job
ReplyDeleteI think this is a wonderful Octain piece. Great job! For the masks, its a message that should always be shared, the removal of that is, perhaps you will only stop once the world has theirs fully removed...until then if masks call ;) Great job with the c/c line by the way, flowed well. ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteI truly love this piece =)
ReplyDelete