My newest adventure is underway. It has lead me to take up residency in a new blog,
Like the Feathers of an Arrow (affectionately known as LFA).

...don't open...don't throw away... is not disappearing completely (not yet),
but postings here will be limited.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

13 Our Hearts' Refrain (Revisited)

we were forbidden to speak
forbidden to meet one another's gaze
but what stolen glances could not sustain
our bodies spoke our hearts' refrain

we are ruled by archaic laws
laws created to keep bloodlines pure
pure of the taint our union would bring

we were forbidden to touch
forbidden to dance in one another's arms
but what stolen glances could not sustain
our bodies spoke our hearts' refrain

we are ruled by our hearts
hearts that refused to bend
bend to the elitests' views of lineage
lineage we would dilute with our coupling

we were forbidden to meet
forbidden to be alone with one another
but what stolen glances could not sustain
our bodies spoke our hearts' refrain

we are ruled by our love
love that grew from our hearts' desires
desires that knew nothing of ancient laws

we were forbidden to love
forbidden to share our lives with one another
but what stolen glances could not sustain
our bodies spoke our hearts' refrain

we are ruled by truth
truth that our destiny is ours' alone
alone for us to choose and follow
follow to the ends of the earth together



i let it stew for a bit (see original Our Hearts' Refrain)...in the end i embedded four additional stanzas using a variation on loop poetry...the four new stanzas could too probably stand on their own...i can't decide if i should let them stand together or separate them into their own entities.  for now i'll let them blend...

while inspired by Jingle Poetry's Poetry Potluck [Language, Signs, and Signals], it did not ripen in time for this past Monday's post...strangely enough, i think it might still fit with this upcoming Poetry Potluck [Rules, Regulations, and Laws], we'll have to see if it ferments in time...

13 comments:

  1. we were forbidden to love
    forbidden to share our lives with one another
    but what stolen glances could not sustain
    our bodies spoke our hearts' refrain


    well done, Thanks for linking.

    A++

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  2. I like the we were, we are tension. nice

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  3. we are ruled by our hearts
    hearts that refused to bend
    bend to the elitests' views of lineage
    lineage we would dilute with our coupling

    this stanza i liked, especially the line, "we are ruled by our hearts"

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  4. Very enjoyable. It kept making me think of 'Romeo and Juliet'!
    Revising poems is hard work, do changes make them better or worse!?

    http://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/dark-teen/

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  5. Interesting poem and a smooth flow

    its true " alone for us to choose and follow "

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  6. What is it about "forbidden" that makes us want it all the more?

    http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/boundaries-jingles-poetry-potluck/

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  7. forbidden love, a torment!!!!
    Thought it could turn into a villanelle...nice write, cool! Happy potluck!

    http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/

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  8. this to me is impressive! the repetitions hit the right notes that lends to the mood of your whole composition! here's my potluck for this week: http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/here-for-you/

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  9. i love the way you showed both sides of this... this theme on rules is not my favorite, but i really love this one :)

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  10. Greetings, Happy Tuesday! Blessings…

    Friendship Awards, Enjoy!
    Thanks for the support, You Rock!
    xxx

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  11. This is so true...and so beautiful...
    No matter what the rules/laws are, they cannot really curb the minds and hearts of an individual... they may curb the actions, but never the thoughts!

    I could relate to this poem in quite a few ways :)... awesome!

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  12. A very special ambience you created in this poem with the help of playing with forms, ideas and vocabulary. Thanks for sharing, enjoyed it a lot. :)

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  13. Greetings…

    Please help visit a few poets 2 wish them happy birthdays, Thanks!

    Your contribution to our community is highly valued!
    Keep up the excellence!
    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete