Tuesday, August 7, 2012
12 Last Call: Falling Deep
Falling Deep
Senses flare with every breath we share;
pent up hungers caught most unaware.
Every touch sends shivers—tender waves
bent on driving us wild ‘til we’re slaves
chained together by desires that singe;
claiming us ‘til we become unhinged.
Tensions build with every touch we dare,
rendering us free—no more despair.
Weeks of fighting fade; our fevered thirst
sweetens harsh words spoken at our worst.
Rapt, we find ourselves dissolving fast,
trapped within a love we know will last.
Note on Form: This is my second go at framed couplets. Starting and ending a line on a stress throws me off a bit--not really sure why--but in the end, it think it sounds pretty nice.
This is my offerings for this weeks dVerse Poets Pub OpenLinkNight. If you get a chance, check out all of the talented poets who have stepped up into the spotlight.
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this was a lot of fun...really nice rhythm to it...and that is a good place to be trapped...in a love that lasts...smiles...
ReplyDeletenice...love that love wins over the fights...a good place to be... a good place to fall into...
ReplyDeleteI always love hearing the authors voice reading as they intended it. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this...especilly knowing that, in the end, the love WILL last!
ReplyDeleteNice framing couplets....its tricky to write this form but you did it very well...I do like the kind of loving here ~
ReplyDeleteI love when love wins...nice piece !
ReplyDeleteVery intense. Well done!
ReplyDeleteSo fun to fall, to let go with that special someone.
ReplyDeleteGene
Beautiful...love the strong passion within.
ReplyDeleteI'll take such a lap
ReplyDeleteAnd fall for that trap
Even listen to the flap
Or a tempered yap
Awesome! I may copy this poem with some others that were written for Framed Couplets and send them to Hector. This is one of the best I've read. It's a thrash to work through the puzzle but isn't it gratifying to do it, and I should think so as well as you have done here. Working not only the rhymes but that slighly off-beat rhythm, wrapping lines (and how well you did that). Read aloud it doesn't feel like "form" poetry at all and that was the composer's aim. Stellar, really!
ReplyDeleteSorry I didn't get by to read your rondeau last week. We may revisit this form on FormForAll. We did cover it back in the OneStopPoetry days; but many don't go back that far with us. I'll let you know!!
Cool piece, nice work within the framed couplets. I also enjoyed the reading. Thanks
ReplyDelete