Streets
at nightfall
bring forth the crazies,
prowling for tasty morsels;
souls,
judged worthy of their sweet kiss,
run fruitlessly; hope
for safety
dashed
attempt #2 at a Butterfly Oddquain. additional inspirations for this post came from Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>judge, nightfall, safety], as well as Poetic Asides' Wednesday Poetry Prompt. part of me thought to entitle it vampires, but i felt 'creatures of the night' worked a bit more. i'm not really good at the whole punctuation thing. probably should have just left it without, but i am rather fond of commas. as for the semicolons, well their half comma so...
Nice wings! And welcome to poetic asides, too!
ReplyDeleteAs far as punctuation, I read somewhere that if it's not clunky or obvious, then it's just fine. And I agree. I used to spend too much time on it. And since nothing flew out at me on first read of your oddquain, i'd say you've done a fine job!
Commas are the only punctuation I use. The odd time I use a semi colon but I think as a poet there are no rules. As for the piece, I thought it was quite well written, I enjoyed it thoroughly. Love and Light, Sender
ReplyDelete