Embodying Her (Embracing Myself)
she wades through my dreams just out of reach--
a dancer in the shadows of my grief.
I'm not sure how long she'll wait there for me
to realize the beauty I possess
while I struggle with a heart I can't breach.
Every once and again I catch a brief
glimpse of the person I'm supposed to be;
she dances in the shadows of my grief
bound to the darkness--longing to break free.
I wonder how long she'll wait there for me?
Full of pure love, she implores me to see
the amazing beauty that I possess--
dares me to embrace all that I should be
if I banish fear to love's sweet caress.
As I struggle with this heart I can't breach,
every once and again I feel a brief
ray of hope knowing she waits there for me.
Still I fear I'll never feel love's caress
for she wades through my dreams out of reach.
I realize this rambling probably will make no sense to anyone but me, still....
The other day while in the car (go figure, that is where all my harebrained ideas come from) I got to thinking about the nota (an invented form...because I was bored and have a thing for repetition). Something about it being fourteen lines nagged at me and I wondered if it would be possible to expand it. With my driving-hazed mind, I could picture the potential for adding the two additional lines with their repeating in the middle stanza. Of course, when it actually came to putting it together I realized the patterned for the initial two middle stanzas didn't lend itself well to the expansion. It did not take me long to puzzle through the issue and uncover a solution. The additional line in the first stanza (technically #3) could be repeated not twice, but three times and surrounded in the middle stanza by the rhyme from the center of the other two triplets. On a side note it was just coincidental that the non-repeating line rhymes also rhymed with the middle line of the first/last stanza.
For those who can follow the pattern is such (with letters denote ending rhyme, capitals denote repeating lines, numbers assist in identifying where line will repeat--minor variations on repeating lines allowed as long as the final word remains intact)...
A1-B1-E1-C1-A2 / B2-d-B1 / d-E1-d / C1-d-C2 / A2-B2-E1-C2-A1
This is my offerings for the dVerse Poets Pub OpenLinkNight. If you get a chance, check out all of the talented poets who have stepped up into the spotlight.
wow what an interesting form...have never heard of it...what emotion as well...to see who you could be but have them dancing just out of reach...lots packed into that thought....
ReplyDeleteFantastic writing! Form scares me, to be perfectly honest...but I try when prompted. This is indeed intriguing...and the two additional lines indeed packed an added punch...as to the subject matter...once I find the me that ran away...I'll let you know how I did it...your words resonate...could be my pre-mid-life crisis! ;)
ReplyDeletepacked with emotions and the repetition works really well..what an interesting form..
ReplyDeleteThe ending is sad...but that is, unfortunately, sometimes what happens with dreams. Lots of emotion packed in your words.
ReplyDeleteYeah, well thought out, I quite like the repetition here, good work.
ReplyDeleteMine’s HERE
I enjoyed this twice. Love when people read their poetry. The tone and inflection of the voice add so much. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI love the poem, no matter the form. It came out beautifully.
ReplyDeleteGawd..the form scares the crap outa me, frankly. But the repitition works...and the poem is great...(form is too much like a math course I flunked) I'm in awe!
ReplyDeleteOnly a math geek could come up with this! Wonderful poem--and one doesn't need to know the intricate rhyme scheme to feel the rhythm of this. Well done!
ReplyDelete