This was not a side of me that I cared to share--not even really with myself. There are very few people who were privy to this part of me. I got a little bold in college when I started my Poetry List (a group whom I sent impromptu poem emails to whether they wanted them or not). After college the Poetry List went by the wayside. I tried several years ago reinstating it with a different medium, but I wasn't really ready to be out there again. Considering all this it is seems odd that I would have started ...don't open...don't throw away.... But then again, just because I put myself out there in a public place didn't mean anyone would find me.
Maybe if I had realized how insanely irrational my social anxiety is, I may not have taken that chance. It seems crazy that this medium (even though relatively face-less) would only stroke my irrational anxiety enriched brain. As much as I would like to deny it...as much as I may have tried to fight it...the truth is this most resent dry spell was induced by the part of me I try desperately to fight against. It just isn't so easy to fight on two fronts (real-world and cyber-world).
I'm not really sure I'm ready to come back. Not sure I want to pick up this fight again. Part of me thinks I should start over from scratch and see how long it takes for me to once again be noticed in this quite public--global--world. I don't know. I guess I'm not quite ready to give up.
So on that note, I am taking up arms. When I first started this blog, I set up a set of rule to assist me in dedicating myself to the task at hand. Those rules will remain inactive as they have been for quite some time. But I think it is important for me to find something that forces my hand (or typing fingers). Instead of rules, I will follow three theme days. If I write in between them...then yeah. If not, at least it is a start.
Sundays: Time Capsule--the idea here is to travel back in time...way back in time. I took a look back over my Poetic Journey (02/19/2011) in a post inspired by OneStopPoetry. I think it might be fun to delve a little deeper; see where I came from; maybe even poke a little fun at how bad some of the things I wrote were. And while this post may not include something new, I do hope to reminisce about the inspiration (or whatever) that lead to the creation being presented.
Wednesdays: Last Call--(if I was smart I would neglect this one, but I believe in facing one's fears.) On these days I will once again stand up in the spotlight, stretch my vocal muscles, push my nerves aside and take the mic up over at the dVerse Poets Pub--I figure if I make it in just in time for last call most everyone will have left for the evening....one can hope right?
Fridays: Can I Have This Dance?--the one thing that I can always count on to provide solace is music. To that end, I dedicate this day to a song inspired piece...whether some inane ramblings, a poem or a wicked tale...my fingers will dance to the soothing sound of song.
Tomorrow starts things off. I'm taking myself all the way back to high school for this first piece. See you then.