I fight to breathe with every step we take.
My lungs constrict in pain deprived of air,
which you so willingly do share with me.
I long to taste your warm soft lips against
my own -- resuscitating -- breathing life
once more into the very core of us.
I wonder how began this path of us
and ponder how exactly did we take;
when I was so completely set on life
alone -- where only I need breathe the air,
which barely was enough to fight against
the troubled fears that dwell inside of me.
I had defined my life around just me.
I never once believed I'd be an us;
I hoped -- but hope is hard when up against
depression threatening each breath I take.
To think that love somehow was in the air
was more than I could wish for in my life.
And then you saw your way into my life;
unfazed by walls I built to safeguard me.
You barged right through like they were made of air;
You were so certain there would be an us.
You played me well -- your little give and take --
'til it was you I wished to lean against.
but still anxiety does crash against
the doors unlocked by you. and so give life
to crazy thoughts that only you can take
away. With just a touch you quicken me --
unravel all my fears -- and steady us
so that I long to breath you in like air.
I'll never know how you saw through my air
destroying the facade. It is against
all reason in my mind that there's an us,
but I no longer can imagine life
where you, my dear, are not a part of me.
Alone is not the path I choose to take.
You are my air with every breath I take.
It seems against all odds you fought for me--
with love -- intent on bringing us to life.
the first (and second...and third...and fourth) time i came across a sestina i quickly passed it by. when i finally returned to it, i admit there was great satisfaction in the completion, as well as figuring out the pattern so that i could stop looking back and forth at the explanation of the form. (i look back at i now and my excitement dissipates...it's okay...the stanzas feel like separate poems stuck together as apposed to one flowing story...it does follow the expected pattern of the sestina...but...i don't know...just but...)
when i saw the sestina being introduced on dVerse~Poets Pub's FormForAll (presented by Gay Cannon), i admit i was a bit hesitant to attempt another. but Gay Cannon employed Matt Quinn who did a wonderful job expanding my knowledge of the form. (i have to admit that had i seen the words iambic pentameter when i first came across the sestina i would never have tried it in the first place.) so after a bit a wavering (and reading of some other sestina explorers at dVerse~Poets Pub), i decided to give it a go. and of course crazy me decided to attempt exploring this form with iambic pentameter (what a scary thought).
for future reference, Matt was right about choosing you words wisely...for i did not. 'against' pretty much killed me; 'take' was far from a piece of cake; and 'air' was trickier than i thought. i will have to do my best to keep in word choice should i try my hand at another sestina.