love
please
fade not, do brightly burn
forever embrace me, hold tightly
~darling~
tightly hold me, embrace forever
burn brightly, do not fade
please
love
i took a shot at writing a palindrome...not really sure it works...not really sure i like it...
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
0 Phobias...
i decided it was time to look up the specific name of my unusual phobia...
telephonophobia -- this is not the fear of the telephone, but rather the fear of making and/or answering the phone...
while looking at the gigantic list of phobias, i came across a couple of others that i have...
Anthropophobia (fear of people or society: mild, but growing stronger every day); Claustrophobia (fear of confined spaces: mild, but heightened when other people are in the small space with me); Decidophobia (fear of making decisions: mild only when other people are effected by my decision); Doxophobia (fear of expressing opinions or receiving praise: mild on expressing; strong on receiving); Glossophobia (fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak: strong when i am not familiar with the people; strong with larger crowds regardless of familiarity; mild with small groups; mild to none existent with children and teens); Iatrophobia (fear of doctors: strong, but mainly because i am a hypochondriac who would rather not discover if those ailments are real); Monopathophobia (fear of definite sickness; mild, as long as i don't think about dispelling my hypochondria); Social Phobia (fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations: impairing and growing stronger everyday)
those were the ones on the list that really stood out to me. there were definitely some interesting ones. can you believe there is actually a fear of phobias (phobophobia)...
it wasn't necessarily a complete list...so i can only ponder what others i might have...
telephonophobia -- this is not the fear of the telephone, but rather the fear of making and/or answering the phone...
while looking at the gigantic list of phobias, i came across a couple of others that i have...
Anthropophobia (fear of people or society: mild, but growing stronger every day); Claustrophobia (fear of confined spaces: mild, but heightened when other people are in the small space with me); Decidophobia (fear of making decisions: mild only when other people are effected by my decision); Doxophobia (fear of expressing opinions or receiving praise: mild on expressing; strong on receiving); Glossophobia (fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak: strong when i am not familiar with the people; strong with larger crowds regardless of familiarity; mild with small groups; mild to none existent with children and teens); Iatrophobia (fear of doctors: strong, but mainly because i am a hypochondriac who would rather not discover if those ailments are real); Monopathophobia (fear of definite sickness; mild, as long as i don't think about dispelling my hypochondria); Social Phobia (fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations: impairing and growing stronger everyday)
those were the ones on the list that really stood out to me. there were definitely some interesting ones. can you believe there is actually a fear of phobias (phobophobia)...
it wasn't necessarily a complete list...so i can only ponder what others i might have...
Monday, September 27, 2010
0 i wish i could just disappear...
i can feel it...i'm on a downward spiral...spinning faster and faster with every turn...i have no grasp...nothing to hold on to...my breath is being pulled out of me through this whirlwind...
my thoughts have traveled lately to the idea of disappearing...just up and leaving...going off somewhere where i can breathe, wrap my mind around things, and recreate myself...
i think about disappearing and not being found...
how do i leave no trace...how do i assure the things that need to be taken care of here are...how do i just vanish...
i think about disappearing and i wonder could i really do it...
how can i just let go of who i am...how can i walk away from those i love...how do i just leave them with questions...
i think about disappearing and the idea feels so good...
but how can i be sure that i'm not running from who i am, but rather discovering who i truly am...how do i make sure who i am doesn't follow me, doesn't latch on to me with its sharp claws and keep me from blossoming...
i think about disappearing and i know i'm not strong enough...not strong enough to change who i am...not strong enough to explore the possibility of who i could be...not strong enough to let go of the self that has become a type of security blanket...
i think about disappearing...
my thoughts have traveled lately to the idea of disappearing...just up and leaving...going off somewhere where i can breathe, wrap my mind around things, and recreate myself...
i think about disappearing and not being found...
how do i leave no trace...how do i assure the things that need to be taken care of here are...how do i just vanish...
i think about disappearing and i wonder could i really do it...
how can i just let go of who i am...how can i walk away from those i love...how do i just leave them with questions...
i think about disappearing and the idea feels so good...
but how can i be sure that i'm not running from who i am, but rather discovering who i truly am...how do i make sure who i am doesn't follow me, doesn't latch on to me with its sharp claws and keep me from blossoming...
i think about disappearing and i know i'm not strong enough...not strong enough to change who i am...not strong enough to explore the possibility of who i could be...not strong enough to let go of the self that has become a type of security blanket...
i think about disappearing...
Saturday, September 25, 2010
0 Perpetual Fixation
to obsess is to breathe
natural and without thought
the mind festers on words spoke
or not spoken
the heart clenches at actions took
or not taken
like an asthma attack
hitting suddenly
wreaking havoc on the body
obsession takes hold
wringing me dry
leaving me exhausted
to obsess is to breathe
a natural and debilitating disease
natural and without thought
the mind festers on words spoke
or not spoken
the heart clenches at actions took
or not taken
like an asthma attack
hitting suddenly
wreaking havoc on the body
obsession takes hold
wringing me dry
leaving me exhausted
to obsess is to breathe
a natural and debilitating disease
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
6 ataxia curse
Watching Jake walk is like watching a drunken sailor. The walls seem to magically move toward him, nudging him back into line as his devolving gait takes him off course. And though I do my best to hide it, my heart sinks with the knowledge that as his disease ripens it will continue to eat away at his nervous system until walking is not an issue he will need to contend with.
This post was inspired by Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>gait, nudge(-e+ing), ripen(s)]. These three words brought back a memory that left quite an impression...I suppose that's why I locked it up in my memory center.
This post was inspired by Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>gait, nudge(-e+ing), ripen(s)]. These three words brought back a memory that left quite an impression...I suppose that's why I locked it up in my memory center.
Monday, September 20, 2010
0 Methods to Soothe Raging Emotions
gritted teeth
hold tears at bay
a flimsy dam of sticks
bombarded by raging emotions
longing to pour freely
rioting music
course throughout
a volatile tidal wave
melding with raging emotions
longing to find rhythm
breath moves
slowly in, slowly out
a soft gentle breeze
releases the raging emotions
longing to sufficate
hold tears at bay
a flimsy dam of sticks
bombarded by raging emotions
longing to pour freely
rioting music
course throughout
a volatile tidal wave
melding with raging emotions
longing to find rhythm
breath moves
slowly in, slowly out
a soft gentle breeze
releases the raging emotions
longing to sufficate
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