i'm not sure i can make it through today. part of me would just like to sit at home alone and allow the tears to fall at will; maybe finally let go of it all. what i want is my hug; and that is no longer possible. i'm sure i'm not the only one who will find things hard today, but unlike them, who would prefer to be around family, i like being alone where I don't have to worry putting on my mask.
today should be a happy day--doubly happy. i feel horrible--wanting to be alone, when i know they don't want to be alone. i should be stronger, though i know that is stupid to think. i have every right to feel as i do.
today should be a day of celebration, but under normal circumstances i don't care much for the whole hoopla business. these are not normal circumstances.
what i would give for a hug...i really miss the hug, today.