My newest adventure is underway. It has lead me to take up residency in a new blog,
Like the Feathers of an Arrow (affectionately known as LFA).

...don't open...don't throw away... is not disappearing completely (not yet),
but postings here will be limited.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

0 quitting....

i felt the resolve in me twice now, in regards to two different matters.  but still it was strong and certain and i felt a distinct belief that it real.  there was no wishy-washiness to it.  this was how it was, would be and should be. 

one morning after getting ready, i found myself sitting at the top of the stairs as i often do and the decision came to me.  'i have to quit.'  there was a certain finality to it.  like since i made the decision that was how i would be.  it felt good.  and for those few minutes as i sat there letting it sink in, i felt good.  unfortunately i'm a wuss and by the time i made my way down the stairs i knew it would not be.  no matter that it is what my heart wanted.  when have i ever allowed my heart to win out?

that was the first feeling of absolute certainty and acceptance to the way things needed to be.  i wish i could explain how that decision took me, however brief it may have lasted.  i wish i could explain why it was not as it should have been, why i waiver.

as for the second time i was struck by the same intense feeling of acceptance and resolve...well that is for another day...

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