0 the power

my heart aches constantly.  my mind races non-stop.  tears crest too often.  none of this is new.  i use to handle it better.  it is getting harder.  i am isolating myself, even from myself.  how i manage to move beyond these walls is beyond me.  how i manage to continue my routine is a mystery.  i wish i possessed the ability to silence it all.  the power to make my heart stop aching.  the power to settle my racing mind.  i should be out there enjoying myself and my life.  i deserve that.  why i fight it so, i canno fathom.