5 As Only I Could Dream

I woke this ev'ning to a dream
and found myself the real me.
she danced about as though carefree;
not tied to my poor self-esteem.

my fears were washed away downstream
and she was left for all to see.
I woke this ev'ning to a dream
and found myself the real me.

no longer is the silent scream
that torments my reality.
she has a fresh mentality;
it's one I wish would reign supreme.
I woke this ev'ning to a dream.

---

for starters, thank you to One Stop Poetry's Form Monday.  i thoroughly enjoyed the torture of iambic tetrameter and the fun(ky) rhyme scheme (ABba abAB abbaA), which i have (sadly) know memorized.  


so i wasn't sure about the second line; in my head i hear 'real' with two syllables (and the dictionary seems to agree), but at the same time it feels like it should only be one.  in the end i (obviously) decided to let it stand as two syllables.  i also had issues with the word 'different' (which depending on how i choose to pronounce it has two or three syllables...and the dictionary was of no help to me on this count).  in the end, i ended up changing the line for different reasons, but i think had i not i would have left it with an expected count of two.


upon finishing the rondel, i wondered if i should completely transform the end...rewriting the double refrain and extending it into a French sonnet (a.k.a. a rondel prime).  so if you have an opinion, feel free to share it with me.  the alternate ending would remove 'I woke this evening to a dream' and replace it with the following to lines:

I woke this morning from a dream

and found myself the real me.

okay, so i just changed the two lines above.  i think keeping the second line is better than my other thought (and found myself the same old me.).

11 I Shall Not Compromise

do tell me true or not at all
on this I shall not compromise
words were not meant to wear a guise
nor stand to build a great stone wall

within your spell you hope I’ll fall
through coated words that tantalize
but tell me true or not at all
on this I shall not compromise

don’t cast that gaze meant to enthrall
nor hide behind those pale blue eyes
my heart can’t take your twisted lies
I wager you should heed my call
do tell me true or not at all

---

so i now round out (or should i say rond out) my poetic adventures by adding rondels to walk beside my rondelet and rondeau.  this is my somewhat so-so attempt on One Stop Poetry's Form Monday prompt.  it was definitely quite an adventure.  i had lines all over the place; eventually i melded them into couplets and then twisted those around until they seem to fit with some cohesive entity.  initially "my heart can't take your twisted lies" was the second half of the refrain, but inevitably i pushed it out and replaced it with "on this I shall not compromise."  i think it makes for a slightly stronger refrain. my only question at this moment is whether or not to make it a rondel prime (a.k.a. a french sonnet).


as i finally sat back i found myself completely drained.  counting syllables (especially in iambic) really takes a toll.  when i realized i had yet to think about Jingle Poetry's Poetry Potluck [lies, deception, and misrepresentation], well i admit i was far from excited to delve into another poem.  i thought about posting act IV of my ballad (seeing as how it was unlikely that many people would come across this tale that has taken quite a toll on me and is far from done), but i have this thing about adhering to the theme even if they are not overly picky about deviations.  So as this wild diatribe is going on in my head it suddenly dawns on me that the rondel actually fits this week's theme.  so those of you at Jingle Poetry can count yourself blessed that you will not get sucked into my epic ballad.