1 Q Series: Why Poetry? -- Q3

Welcome to the third and final installment of the first Q Series, aptly named Poetry. (For more information on the Q Series, see information located at the end of this post.) Over the course of three Monday's--today being the second--I will be exploring three questions about poetry and myself. They are as follows:
Why do I write poetry?
Why do I like writing form (poetry)?
Why do I prefer free verse (poetry)?

So with out further ado...

So alas we arrive at the final question:  Why do I prefer writing free verse?  What about free verse calls to me more so than any other form out there?  It's freeing!  Sorry, I couldn't help myself.  In all honesty I started writing in free verse because I didn't really know much else.  Sure, like most grade school children, I learned haiku, diamante, and acrostic.  Might I have learned more than that in school--sure, but those were the ones we were taught to write.  

Truth be told, knowing such little form (prior to ...dodta...) I wouldn't have really even known what classified my writing as free verse except for the fact that I did not conform to any particular number of lines or syllable, nor did I care if rhyme made its way into my verse.  And to be completely honest I had no idea what meter really was so you can bet that never had any impact on my verse.

The inner workings of my brain...

As I have mentioned before, my left-brain (which is ever so slightly more dominant) should prefer the structure of non-free verse.  But as I have also stated, part of why I write is to break away from that half of my brain.  Such a structured and logical being can be quite exhausting.  Maybe part of that is because I have a relatively balanced brain.  Sometimes, I have even wondered if I wasn't always more right-brained, but in order to preserve my sanity forced my left-brain to take more of a role.  

The irrational thoughts...

The key is 'irrational'.  When it comes to expelling the emotions, fears, and anxieties that bind me, there is no controlling the shape they take.  They just pour like a mad person rambling on and on and on.  They don't pause to think about fitting to a specific number of syllables or hitting a predetermined meter.  Honestly, I just want to get them out and get them out as quickly as possible...sort of like ripping off a bandage.

The truth about "free" verse...

I suppose it is important to understand the definition of "free verse" in order to decide if that is in fact what I prefer.  Based on what I've read (free of meter, unrestricted in line number/length and rhyme), I'd say free verse is indeed what I write.  The thing is I'm not sure that "free verse" is ever really free, at least not for me.  If I were to look back over my writings I can find numerous poems that incorporate some form of structure.  I have found that I quite enjoy line repetition; I like linking stanzas by creating a relationship between how respective lines start.  

There are definitely little nuances that I can see in my writing that while "free" are structured.  Take for instance the poem below.  Each stanza contains the same number of lines, the first line in each is only two words which includes a noun and a descriptor of the noun; the second lines describe an action of the noun; the third lines all start with 'a' and compare the noun to something else (some form of figurative language, I was never really good at tell the different kinds); all forth lines end with "raging emotions"; and the final lines all begin with "longing to."  

Methods to Soothe Raging Emotions

gritted teeth
hold tears at bay
a flimsy dam of sticks
bombarded by raging emotions
longing to pour freely

rioting music
course throughout
a volatile tidal wave
melding with raging emotions
longing to find rhythm

breath moves
slowly in, slowly out
a soft gentle breeze
releases the raging emotions
longing to suffocate

Another example:

Holding Me Tight

Imagination walks with me down the lonely road
a constant friend I lean upon time and time again
opening up a world to me that I cannot find here

Imagination saves me from all that troubles
a deadly weapon I wield over and over again
killing the fear and anxiety that invades me here

Imagination holds me tightly on those lonely nights
a warm body I wrap myself with again and again
shielding me safely in arms that I am unable to find here

These are just two example of where "free" is only accurate in the sense that there is no defined meter, syllable count, and/or rhyme.

3 Q Series: Why Poetry? -- Q2

Welcome to the second installment of the first Q Series, aptly named Poetry. (For more information on the Q Series, see information located at the end of this post.) Over the course of three Monday's--today being the second--I will be exploring three questions about poetry and myself. They are as follows:
Why do I write poetry?
Why do I like writing form (poetry)?
Why do I prefer free verse (poetry)?

So with out further ado...

Why Form Poetry? Seriously, what on earth would possess me (or anyone for that matter) to constrain poetic inspiration to a rigid set of rules and parameters? Don't get me wrong, I understand the aesthetics of form: the way meter plays to the rhythm of the words, the way rhyming presents an appealing sound, the way repetition adds a flow and emphasize to a thought. I can definitely appreciate the use of poetic form both when I read silently or aloud. But to employ such constraints truly hurts my brain.  Truth be told, poetic form and I have a love-hate relationship.  I love to hate it.

The inner workings of my brain...
Now one might think that my logical - very structured - left brain would love the rules and guidelines set forth by form, but one of the benefits of writing is being able to shutdown that half of my brain. It provides me with an opportunity to allow the irrational thoughts and fears threatening to consume me run free--more like a mustang on the open range than a stallion let out in the fenced in pasture. If it were solely up to my brain, I would fight tooth-and-nail not to write in form. Although it is my brain...yes the lovely left brain...that has rationalized out why I like writing in form.

The irrational thoughts...
While I expressed in the previous installment, I started writing because it was a way for me to expel all of the crazy thoughts and fears that induce anxiety and stress.  Poetry is my coping mechanism.  I find, however, the older I get the harder it is for me to lull these thoughts to sleep, for though I talk about this being a purging of sorts, they always resurface.  I find that the annoyance and struggles of writing in form, following a specific rhyme scheme or employing a certain meter, help to take my mind off of the emotions and feelings that I am writing about.

The lessening of pain...
It is sort of like biting my finger when I have a massive headache.  My hurting finger helps to dull the ache (or my knowledge of the ache) in my head.   I'm able to write out the emotions and feelings without having them overwhelm me.  The harder, stronger, or deeper the emotion, the more I love to hate poetic form.  It really is as simple as that.  

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The Q Series is a new theme. I decided Mondays needed to be spiced up a little bit. Plus I do kind of miss my incessant ramblings. How it works is quite simple. I take a topic of interest to me, personal or not, pose two - four questions, and spend several Mondays exploring the questions. I might miss the occasional Monday with this, but there is no hard and fast rule that I must post on Mondays...at least not yet.

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2 Q Series: Why poetry? -- Q1

Welcome to the first Q Series, aptly named Poetry.  (For more information on the Q Series, see information located at the end of this post.)  Over the course of the next three Monday's I will be exploring three questions about poetry and myself.  They are as follows:
Why do I write poetry?
Why do I like writing form (poetry)?
Why do I prefer free verse (poetry)?

So with out further ado...

Why Poetry?  Of all the forms of writing out there, why would I choose poetry as my form of expression?  Just as important is why I write at all.  These are not simple questions and their answers are far from easy.  Honestly, I find it hard to figure out where to begin or even what to include.  But I do quite enjoy my second form of writing (what I've deemed Ramblings), so hopefully we'll all be able to follow along.

The inner workings of my brain....
I have several theories running in regard to the craziness that infects my brain.  One includes how I was originally right brained (creative/artistic), but due to the irrational thoughts threatening to destroy me my left brain (logical/analytical) took over.  Of course my right brain has continued to plot uprisings and so in the end I have a rather boring--and oddly--well balance brain.  You see while my left brain (the one that loves solving systems of equations in multiple variables and using the Rational Root Theorem to find possible solutions to polynomial equations) has managed to tamper most of my irrational side, those thoughts are still there longing to escape and so I tap into the right side and write (no pun intended).

The irrational thoughts...
So as the tagline for this blog states, "this letting of words is my treatment...my salvation. it pulls all the toxins from my mind, body, and soul."  I write in order to release or purge myself of the incessant and trying thoughts that threaten to consume me.  Does that mean that I never deviate from the internal?  No, occasionally it is just as important for me to write about something so completely unrelated to how I am feeling or the thoughts running around unchecked.  It's how I keep sane...well maybe not sane so much as functional.

The letting of words...
This brings us back to why poetry.  I could just as easily journal (or dear diary) myself into sanity.  In fact, some of my ramblings are just that.  The problem is it is too personal.  With poetry...it's brevity...it's abstractness...I can disconnect myself.  When I write poetry I can take an emotion or feeling and express it in such a way that the thoughts and events that sparked the irrational feeling floating in me are not really easily uncovered.  It is sort of like being covered from head to toe in body paint, so that even though you are completely naked no one can really see you.

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The Q Series is a new theme.  I decided Mondays needed to be spiced up a little bit.  Plus I do kind of miss my incessant ramblings.  How it works is quite simple.  I take a topic of interest to me, personal or not, pose two - four questions, and spend several Mondays exploring the questions.  I might miss the occasional Monday with this, but there is no hard and fast rule that I must post on Mondays...at least not yet.

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