My newest adventure is underway. It has lead me to take up residency in a new blog,
Like the Feathers of an Arrow (affectionately known as LFA).

...don't open...don't throw away... is not disappearing completely (not yet),
but postings here will be limited.

Monday, July 4, 2011

6 Echos of Silence

one day
             my silence
                             will echo

it will start as a whisper
of something forgotten
as you walk into a room
and look about
for what?
you can't remember
it will nag at you
until you shake off the whisper
figuring
it will eventually come back to you

it will grow to a soft hum
of a once heard song
that lingers at the edge
of your mind
you can feel the notes clash
refusing to take form
it will tickle your senses
until you push away the hum
back
into the recesses of your mind

one day
             my silence 
                             will echo

it will build within you to a shout
that whisper
that hum
will finally take shape
into words long ago read
and you'll be drawn
to rediscover them
as you begin to search for me
the nagging whisper will return
as you find my lost words
the tickling hum will resurface
it is then
that my silence will be so profound
it will echo deep within your mind

one day
             my silence 
                             will echo

of this i have no doubt
for there is no room 
for doubt
it is not something i can afford
my words have power
meaning
passion
these are things i cannot afford to loose
they are at my very core
without them i am nothing
and so i cling to the idea 

one day
             my silence 
                             will echo




a One Stop Poetry--One Shot Wednesday offering.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

11 STUN

STUN
transfix
petrify

goose bumps, white knuckles,
and feet rooted in place
where all symptoms of his gaze

“paralyzing fears pierce the heart”



i'm still wondering around in my little hiding place, but making occassional trips to the surface now and then.  i couldn't pass up the last Wednesday of the month at Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>bump(s), knuckle(s), transfix]...not when there was a clarity pyramid poem to write. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

1 hiding? why?

quite some time ago, i wrote six words as part of a poem.  i have revisited them within this blog on at least four other occasions. they are deeply embedded into every key i press...every word i write...every single hesitation i take when hitting the 'publish post' button.  

"social anxiety follows me into cyberspace."

so, while i'm usually relatively good at coping with said anxiety, balancing it in both my 'real' world and my 'cyber' world has become quite a challenge.  it seems odd to me that this fear...this paranoia...this anxiety could find its way into a world where one can exist with such anonymity...where one can reinvent themselves...where one can let down their walls.  

but this fear is not built around anonymity.  it centers on judgement...on the thoughts and views of others...on the mere idea of exposing oneself to being evaluated negatively in a social arena.  and here i am exposed far more than i am in my 'real' world.

i hold my breath every time i hit the button to post.  i cringe every time i read over my own words and know that there is someone out there reading them as well.  i close my eyes to the deafening silence to hold back the tears that long to rush forth.  

i needed a reprieve.  i needed to wash myself of the constant buzzing in my ear that drew me time and time again back to the torture.  i needed to breathe.  going into hiding...condemning myself to a self-imposed exile...getting in touch with my far too neglected and practically nonexistent happy side...was the only way i could think to calm the paranoid rhetoric running rampant through my head.  

my nerves have settled a bit...my mind has tuned the station to a more relaxing sound...

so am i back?  i'm not sure...i'm taking it slow and still finding some me time in my little hideaway.  

Sunday, June 19, 2011

9 Graffiti'd: One Night Impression

Photo by Chris Galford
(cropped from original below)
she snuck in
under cover of night
shaking my world
like a spray can
her fingertips exerting
just the right
amount of pressure
splashing brilliant colors
across the wall I built
then she disappeared
her mark soaking into me
leaving an imprint
on my heart



Photo by Chris Galford
upon visiting One Stop Poetry's One Shoot Sunday [graffiti'd] today, i couldn't help but ask myself...


was it a sign that my latest train of thoughts while in hiding was about dreams.  (my first fixation was on laughs.)  anyway...i guess it was a sign 'cause the words just flew forth...granted they had nothing to do with dreams...although i'd like to think she gave him a little something to dream about...


so why the resent fixation on dreams...not sure i really know.  as i mentioned in my last post i'm looking to rediscover my creative-self...not that it is AWOL...or broken...or marred in anyway shape or form...just (as a my last poem before going into my self-imposed exile puts it) out of sync...in more ways than one.  so i'm working on finding a happy place...thus laughs and dreams...

Monday, June 13, 2011

1 unravel me

just because i've been in hiding, does not mean i have abondoned my creative self...mearly trying to rediscover it.

anyway, quite awhile ago i wrote to tweetoetry that had a similar feel.  a bit after that, i thought it would be neat to see if i could turn them into a bit of a series.  thus far, i have only added one additional tweetoetry (poem) to the mix.  for the fun of it, i decided to turn all three into a word cloud.  it seemed like a fun idea.  i tried wordle first, but while i was able to keep phrases together, it is limited in placing specific line near each other.  while i wasn't so picky about the poems flowing in order, some lines just really felt like they needed to be together.  so, i made my own (using MS Word).  so here it is...a bit blurry/pixelated...but still kind of neat...



1 Tale of Love and Woe: The Decision

Check out the first six parts of the ballad in Act I - VI.


Act VII – The Decision

It happened quite some time ago
when dragons roamed the land
where chivalry was in the heart
and valor close at hand

we find our princess with her knight
her heavy heart so frail
for should she share with him her ploy
their love might still prevail

to tell him now might save his pride
and help her win her cause
but fear does bind her words within
this angst does give her pause

she looks into her sweet’s kind gaze
and finds her heart set free
so swept away by all she feels
she says to him, “let’s flee!”

his grin does speak the truth she knows
the two of them hold dear
to run away would not be right
their honor they would smear

he takes her hands in both of his
her gaze he does demand
to let her know all will be fine
their love shall guide his hand

she pulls him in to her embrace
and preys he’ll understand
her heart is his but hers to give
she must proceed as planned

At last with her decision made
she’ll fight with all her will
and let the chips fall where they may
and prey her love be still

And so moves forth our tale of love
in shadows filled with woe
our princess knows what she will do
yet fears she’ll loose her beau

Sunday, June 12, 2011

0 Tale of Love and Woe: The Tournament

Check out the first five parts of the ballad in Act I - V.


Act VI - The Tournament

It happened quite some time ago
when dragons roamed the land
where tournaments were common place
and fought with sword in hand

we find our knight with new resolve
his loss is in the past
he's ready now to take all down
to hold his love at last

with heart so pure he knows he'll win
yet still he'll face that one
who stole his pride and marred his heart
(hmmm) a rematch might be fun

And thus the tournament begins
divided into rounds
that will encompass four long days
upon the battlegrounds

our knight gains marks with every bout
and by the second night
a favorite he has become
to everyone's delight

he's careful not to let his wins
go straight up to his head
he keeps his eyes upon the prize
his sweet he hopes to wed

each blow he strikes he does for love
as fear begins to swell
for anxiously he notices
his foe moves forth as well

so thus goes on our tale of love
in shadows filled with woe
our knight moves to the final bout
to face--once more--his foe



technically, i'm still in hiding...that doesn't mean i can't come out and play once in awhile.


about three weeks ago, i wrote Act V.  upon doing so, i set a deadline for myself to finish my ballad which i began back at the start of February.  Friday i realized that my deadline was less than a week away.  and i still had three more acts to write.  so Friday, i worked on Act VI, on Saturday i laid out the final acts:  VII, VIII, and XI.  yeah, that's nine.  what should have been one small adventure into toying with ballads turned into something far more.  at first i thought three was going to do it.  when i hit Act II, i realized that i was probably looking at a total of five.  with Act IV, i realized i might have to extend things to eight acts.  alas yesterday, i managed to lay things out.  i even wrote two different possible endings for Act IX.  i'm not yet sure which i'm going with, but after i finalize Act VIII, i'll make a decision.  either way, i have a feeling they will be a bit of a disappointing end (not necessarily unhappy, just disappointing).  


so above is Act VI, tomorrow i'll put the finishing touches on Act VII and post it up.  by Tuesday, Act VIII should be up...and on Wednesday my ballad will finally see its end.