“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
every day i have searched
endlessly and with quiet resolve
i have searched
within
without
and all about
i have searched
and nothing
i have found nothing
every day i have pondered
tirelessly and with quiet resolve
i have pondered
inwardly
outwardly
and all around
i have pondered
and nothing
i have uncovered nothing
every day
for nothing
i have searched and pondered
when i should have been reinventing and creating
Saturday, November 13, 2010
0 Music To My Ears
Such a sweet sound
it tickles my ear like a laugh
drawing me in, it opens my heart
how she purses her lips
lets the air begin to flow
and whistles a tune of happiness
Small little burst of happiness
found in the sound
that erupts in a steady flow
of giggles that turn into a breathless laugh
she looks at me and covers her lips
and I feel the swell of my heart
Tiny little hand curve into a heart
in her effort to share her happiness
she takes her hand to her lips
blows me a kiss without a sound
as I catch it to me, she tries to hold back the laugh
while I work to control the emotions that wish to flow
Her laughing fit causes the tears to flow
the beating of her tiny heart
speeds up with every laugh
leaving her breathless with happiness
and I cherish the sound
that continues to pour from her lips
A soft spoken song escapes her lips
as she dances, her hips flow
such a sweet sound
she begins to belt out the words straight from her heart
her eyes closed in a her world of happiness
and I feel the need to laugh
Just a simple laugh
a smirk of the lips
all in the name of happiness
she has no fear to hold back the flow
she lets all the feeling in her heart
with such a whimsical and enchanting sound
I get caught in the sound of your laugh
it tugs at my heart and pulls at the corners of my lips
tears threaten to flow as you pull me into your happiness
so i decided to try something a little different...something a bit more happy. for inspiration, i challenged myself with another new poetic form, sestina. it was a bit tricky to figure out the pattern of the words, but when i went back to check that i had the words in the right order, i figured out how the pattern actually worked. believe it or not, the order from one stanza to the next is not arbitrary.
it tickles my ear like a laugh
drawing me in, it opens my heart
how she purses her lips
lets the air begin to flow
and whistles a tune of happiness
Small little burst of happiness
found in the sound
that erupts in a steady flow
of giggles that turn into a breathless laugh
she looks at me and covers her lips
and I feel the swell of my heart
Tiny little hand curve into a heart
in her effort to share her happiness
she takes her hand to her lips
blows me a kiss without a sound
as I catch it to me, she tries to hold back the laugh
while I work to control the emotions that wish to flow
Her laughing fit causes the tears to flow
the beating of her tiny heart
speeds up with every laugh
leaving her breathless with happiness
and I cherish the sound
that continues to pour from her lips
A soft spoken song escapes her lips
as she dances, her hips flow
such a sweet sound
she begins to belt out the words straight from her heart
her eyes closed in a her world of happiness
and I feel the need to laugh
Just a simple laugh
a smirk of the lips
all in the name of happiness
she has no fear to hold back the flow
she lets all the feeling in her heart
with such a whimsical and enchanting sound
I get caught in the sound of your laugh
it tugs at my heart and pulls at the corners of my lips
tears threaten to flow as you pull me into your happiness
so i decided to try something a little different...something a bit more happy. for inspiration, i challenged myself with another new poetic form, sestina. it was a bit tricky to figure out the pattern of the words, but when i went back to check that i had the words in the right order, i figured out how the pattern actually worked. believe it or not, the order from one stanza to the next is not arbitrary.
0 haunting my thoughts...
"happiness is mood not a destination"
i can't speak for others, but i suppose i do look at happiness as a destination. somewhere i need to get to. something i need to reach for, look for, strive for. if i get this...if i do this...if i don't do this...if things go as planned...than happiness will follow. and i don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. i guess the problem comes when happiness fades and disappears. when reaching 'happy', it is as though you finally made it. that all your worries and fears can subside. but it's a mood. and like all moods it comes and goes. if there are enough 'happy' things in our lives than the shift from unhappiness to happiness will not take long. if by default you are a happy person, everything you are surrounded by makes you happy and you have a fullfilled life, than the mood switch won't last and you will find yourself in happiness.
my problem is my general mood state is not 'happy'. for me happiness is fleating. even surrounded by things that would make a normal person generally 'happy', i am stuck in the world of unhappiness. so i look forward to those moments...that pitstop along the road of life that provides me with a genuine feeling of happiness. like most pitstops they are short and distance between is greater than you'd like.
"happiness is a mood not a destination." hmm...
i can't speak for others, but i suppose i do look at happiness as a destination. somewhere i need to get to. something i need to reach for, look for, strive for. if i get this...if i do this...if i don't do this...if things go as planned...than happiness will follow. and i don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. i guess the problem comes when happiness fades and disappears. when reaching 'happy', it is as though you finally made it. that all your worries and fears can subside. but it's a mood. and like all moods it comes and goes. if there are enough 'happy' things in our lives than the shift from unhappiness to happiness will not take long. if by default you are a happy person, everything you are surrounded by makes you happy and you have a fullfilled life, than the mood switch won't last and you will find yourself in happiness.
my problem is my general mood state is not 'happy'. for me happiness is fleating. even surrounded by things that would make a normal person generally 'happy', i am stuck in the world of unhappiness. so i look forward to those moments...that pitstop along the road of life that provides me with a genuine feeling of happiness. like most pitstops they are short and distance between is greater than you'd like.
"happiness is a mood not a destination." hmm...
Saturday, November 6, 2010
0 a whisper and a touch
He came up behind her and whispered words in her ear that made her blush. His hand brushed against the bare skin just below her dress and she felt her blush spread and the warmth of the evening invaded her. His other hand slid slowly across her stomach; his gentle embrace gave her permission to let herself melt back into him.
0 or maybe...
i apologize in advance for the inane ramblings that are about to ensue. i also apologize for getting lost. i seem to have lost myself somewhere and am trying to find my way back. not an easy task, but i'm working on it. anyway...
i think i steal other people's dreams. maybe not steal, so much as borrow, invade, trespass or something of the sort. i know i have a relatively over active imagination that i quite often ignore, but there is no way that my subconscious is able to concoct such outlandish dreams or such realistic ones. and it seems odd to me that i rarely play myself. i am always someone else, or i watch from the outside like a movie...i even jump from character to character. every once in a while i think about the fact (or at least i remember hearing it as such) that frankenstein came from dream. and i wonder if maybe that is the real purpose behind them. to inspire something more. of course i'd have to remember them for that to happen right. at least more than the bits and pieces that linger. and i'm so not a morning person, so there is no way i'm waking and writing down the thoughts before they fly out of my head. anyway that is besides the point. i wonder if it is possible to invade someone else's dreams. i have always believed that there is the possibility that if we were able to tap into certain parts of our brain we would be...i don't know that psychic is exactly the word i'm looking for, but in that realm of things. when we sleep, we open our subconscious to those things we perceive as impossible. similar to the idea of young children being more in tune to fairies and ghosts because they lack the logic and realistic world we adults force upon ourselves. they still believe in the impossible. well, i think it's possible that those boundaries we put up open up when we sleep. maybe i do dream the future and thus why i have deja vu moments or maybe i do invade other people's dreams or maybe i see fairies and ghosts when i sleep or maybe my creative side that i have chained up and left to shrivel and die of starvation is making a stand and invading my dream to inspire me.
or maybe...
i think i steal other people's dreams. maybe not steal, so much as borrow, invade, trespass or something of the sort. i know i have a relatively over active imagination that i quite often ignore, but there is no way that my subconscious is able to concoct such outlandish dreams or such realistic ones. and it seems odd to me that i rarely play myself. i am always someone else, or i watch from the outside like a movie...i even jump from character to character. every once in a while i think about the fact (or at least i remember hearing it as such) that frankenstein came from dream. and i wonder if maybe that is the real purpose behind them. to inspire something more. of course i'd have to remember them for that to happen right. at least more than the bits and pieces that linger. and i'm so not a morning person, so there is no way i'm waking and writing down the thoughts before they fly out of my head. anyway that is besides the point. i wonder if it is possible to invade someone else's dreams. i have always believed that there is the possibility that if we were able to tap into certain parts of our brain we would be...i don't know that psychic is exactly the word i'm looking for, but in that realm of things. when we sleep, we open our subconscious to those things we perceive as impossible. similar to the idea of young children being more in tune to fairies and ghosts because they lack the logic and realistic world we adults force upon ourselves. they still believe in the impossible. well, i think it's possible that those boundaries we put up open up when we sleep. maybe i do dream the future and thus why i have deja vu moments or maybe i do invade other people's dreams or maybe i see fairies and ghosts when i sleep or maybe my creative side that i have chained up and left to shrivel and die of starvation is making a stand and invading my dream to inspire me.
or maybe...
Friday, November 5, 2010
0 brain wars
i'm a numbers person. not the show numb3ers, though i must admit it was an enjoyable show to watch. but that is besides the point. i'm a numbers person. i am logical, practical, detailed oriented, and ruled by facts. in short, my left brain rules. it has since probably about eighth grade. its need to push its way to the forefront was probably a self-defense mechanism. my irrational and erratic thoughts needed some semblance of peace, order and structure. my left brain was the cure. still is. my right brain doesn't quite like that. it is starving to get out and explore. i try my best to give it its due, but is not easy to do. it struggles and in turn it acts up inappropriately or not at all.
i like seeing possibilities. i like following a hunch. i like seeing the big picture. i like believing in more than what i see. i wish i could let my right brain come out and play more often. i wish i could open myself up to its potential and not be scared of what might come. i wish...
i like seeing possibilities. i like following a hunch. i like seeing the big picture. i like believing in more than what i see. i wish i could let my right brain come out and play more often. i wish i could open myself up to its potential and not be scared of what might come. i wish...
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
1 fragile
thoughts moving rampantly
cause coursing tremors
pushing boundaries
forming unseen cracks
feeling I'm
~fragile~
I'm feeling
cracks unseen forming
boundaries pushing
tremors coursing cause
rampantly moving thoughts
For the life of me I cannot say why I felt compelled to try my hand at another palindrome poem. Wrapping my brain around the wrapping words that must form some sense of cohesiveness is not easy or fun. I suppose I like the challenge. And even though I'm have yet to find my rhythm for creating this type of poetry, there is satisfaction in the accomplishment (even when it only turns out so-so).
Inspiration for this poem came from Three Word Wednesday [3WW=>fragile, rampant(ly), tremor(s)]. Fragile was used as the mirror...wasn't really working until I changed "I am" (which would reflect as "am I") to "I'm" (which reflects as "I'm")...
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