Time Capsule: Alone I Sit

Title:  Alone I Sit
Date:  09/10/94
Setting:  In dorm room during freshman year of college
Form:  Free Verse

Alone I sit.
Laughter echoes down the hall;
Somewhere, not here.

Suddenly I am flushed
with loneliness—
sadness.
I turn the music up trying to drown them out.

Alone I sit.
Happy voices cry out from down the hall;
Somewhere, not here. 

Overwhelming, my face is flushed
with tears—
fears.
I close my ears so as not to hear them. 

Alone I sit.
Laughing, talking, enjoying one another’s company;
I know they’re there—not here. 

Alone I sit full of tears—not laughter,
Consumed in silence—not talking,
Burdened with sadness—
Alone, I sit.

Notes:  I can still picture myself sitting at the desk in my dorm room as these words flowed.  Considering the date, I was probably only in school--away from home--for about two to three weeks.  I was still trying to find my way in this new place with no one around who I knew.

I chose this poem this week for two reasons.  The first is that is seemed fitting given the progression of the last two Time Capsules that I find my way out of high school and into college.  While this alone would not lead me to choose this seeing as how I wrote quite a bit of poems in college (even if we restricted it to freshman year).

Out of all those I could have chosen as I shuffled through my poetry folder, this one demonstrated, in a way, why I rarely revise a piece of work once it has been written.  I figured after last week's entry where I posted my first ever poem that involved a rewrite after completing the poem that this would be a good follow up.  This here felt like a good example of how much time I spend in the initial write to make it what I want.  The first draft--or ramblings--possess the essence of the final poem.

Artifact I:  The first write.

Artifact II:  The redesigned poem constructed during the same sitting.