buried deep beneath the rubble

i write--
i'd like to say to find myself,
but that sounds so cliche.
truth is, i know where i am;
i know who i am--
i know far too well
who i am.  i just....

i know there's something more
a piece of me--of who i should be--
buried deep within me
longing to taste the fresh air.
i write
in the hopes of unearthing her.

i write to purge myself
of this irrational brain,
which is intent upon suffocating me.
i long to destroy the poison
seething through my veins.
maybe if i can get them all out--
exorcise these evils from my mind--
i might find her hiding beneath the rubble.

i write
(hhuufffffff)
i write
so i can breathe.

---

translation: hhuufffffff = an intake and expelling of breath.