Today is four months. I do my best not to think about it, because I can feel my eyes glass over and the tears welling in the corners of my eyes. Here I sit...in her seat. I remember my dad talking about how it would be his seat now, like it was a badge of honor, a privilege. Meanwhile it seems I have instead made this my second home. Sometimes it feels weird occupying this seat, like I don't belong; I can't really explain it.
Four months...I think about the future sometimes...of pinnacle moments in time...I thought Christmas would be hard...but my mind runs to Mother's Day and our birthdays and I don't know how I'll handle them... Part of me hopes that the thinking will be worse than the actual event...only time will tell...
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