3 Falling: A Poem for Two (a poem in two voices)

as though trying to write a sonnet wasn't hard enough, i couldn't help but rip it apart into pieces for two.  so here is my sonnet meant for two voices.  i suppose you are wondering why i'd attempt a form i'm not so keen on...i guess i like a challenge...this one was offered up by Poetic Asides.


so back to the sonnet...i admit, for some odd reason in the back of my head i relate sonnets to love...so i stuck with that theme.  below it is presented in two fashions (the second is probably easier to read.  one in 'His & Hers' columns; anything appearing on the same line gets read simultaneously.  two in one combined entity; colors are used to decipher who is speaking and when (plus it looks more like a sonnet).  

(Added Note:  after much time has passed, I have had a chance to review my sonnet attempt only to uncover for it to be classified as such it needs some major work.  09/2012)


key to second presentation:  both, him, her


try reading just 'His' lines and just 'Her' lines....  i hope you enjoy this twist on a sonnet....

---

I must confess, you stole my heart at first sight	I must confess, you stole my heart at first sight
your beauty drew me
	a picture of true bliss I couldn't look away
and my heart couldn't dismiss the desire building
even had I tried to fight	even had I tried to fight
In that moment I was lost in an abyss	In that moment I was lost in an abyss
the world disappearing
	all I wished was this to feel you in my arms
never felt so right	never felt so right
That day I stammered to catch my breath to speak	That day I stammered to catch my breath to speak
words you would remember
	words that filled my heart your smile disarmed me
your eyes distracted me
so that words stumbled and I felt foolish and meek	so that words stumbled and I felt foolish and meek
but with just one laugh
I knew	I knew this was the start of something wondrous
our love was meant to be	our love was meant to be

---

I must confess, you stole my heart at first sight
Your beauty drew me...a picture of true bliss
I couldn't look away...And my heart couldn't dismiss
The desire building...even had I tried to fight
In that moment I was lost in an abyss
The world disappearing...all I wished was this
To feel you in my arms...never felt so right 


That day I stammered to catch my breath to speak
words you would remember...words that filled my heart
your smile disarmed me...your eyes distracted me
so that words stumbled and I felt foolish and meek
but with just one laugh...I knew...this was the start
of something wondrous...our love was meant to be